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Feelings
of Separation -- Opportunities for Spiritual Growth
By James Michael Whitty spiFebruary 2006 |
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It is easy to notice the error ridden ways and foolishness of others. They do not think or act like we do. They live odd life styles. They have different life goals and worldviews. They have different values and morals. They contribute little to our favored world of perhaps even hurt that world. We fail to see commonality. We feel apart from them, maybe even opposed. Without them, nothing would be lost. So we may feel. |
| To live as a spiritual being, we must live as our true selves, recognizing and honoring our connectedness with all of life. To embrace our connectedness, we must learn to integrate the portion of reality we regard as "not me." We cannot live as our true selves if we view "the other" as unworthy of our love and caring. Our feelings of separation prevent us from fully identifying with the other. | |
| Feelings of separation, once recognized and acknowledged, provide opportunities for spiritual growth. We grow spiritually by learning about ourselves. We learn about ourselves by examining how we regard "the other" in our lives. Our regard for others illuminates parts of ourselves that need attention. Our regard for others reflects our internal state of being. | |
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During one troubled period in my life, I looked upon everyone with some degree of disdain. Everyone seemed to be part of a conspiracy to thwart me from living the life I wanted to live. No one cooperated. Gradually, I noticed that blaming others did not make things better but actually made things worse. Rather than looking at others for the source of my troubles, I began to look within. Through relentless self examination, I learned the only "conspirator" was I. |
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| Self examination is a challenging endeavor. It requires a close look at how we relate to everything in our lives. Through questioning our own attractions, reactions, motives and worldviews, we come to understand ourselves. We find flaws and character defects hitherto unknown to us. We also find attributes and capacities we have hidden from ourselves. Finally, we recognize our common potential for positive and negative actions with all of humanity. | |
| One self examination technique is to check-in on your attitude towards others while in group settings. Direct your attention to each individual in the room, one by one, to see how you regard them. When you feel any hint of negativity towards someone, you have found something within to explore. There is some characteristic or behavior of the person that means something for you personally, something you need to comprehend and resolve. It can be surprising how your regard for the person improves once you have dealt with your own issue. Often your attitude towards the person converts to delight because you can now see the best in them. Your negativity no longer cloaks their value. | |
| Another self examination technique is to follow your behavior as you move about your day. Are you struggling with someone? Identify your role in the struggle. Are you feeling anxious? Probe why. Do you feel aggressive? Examine your motives. Do you feel avoidant, defensive or protective? Admit your fears. Have you reacted strongly to another's action? Check your life's balance. Do you worry? Find your attachments. The more you watch yourself, the more you will learn that "the other" is not separate or opposed to you, but, rather, your spiritual teacher. | |
| We are called to the highest spiritual realization. We are called to know our essence. By integrating the other, identifying with all existing, our feelings of separation dissolve completely. We discover our true nature. | |
©
2006-2012 Urban Spirituality Center and Diversity as Gift