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The Role of a Spiritual Director is to: Be Present, Listen, Create a Safe Space

Creating a Safe Place is the third piece in our series.

For each of us to explore a spiritual journey it is essential that we have a safe place to share our story. Our story has many wonderful memories, challenges and struggles. Creating a place, listening and being present set the environment for building trust.
How often are we given good attention? How often are we truly listened to? How often do we have someone who is there for us; no matter what they have to say?

Emotions play a big part in our story and sometimes they even prevent us from sharing certain pieces of our story. Emotions can tend to dominate our actions and decisions. We are often told that emotions are a sign of weakness, so we tend to shove them inside and focus on what our head is saying. But we have to remember that we are human beings and can function fully; we can feel, act, think and decide. When we have a safe place, we can use all of our human functions. We can feel the feelings and still think, act and decide; instead of feeling and shutting down, or feeling and reacting. Feelings are just feelings, some make us feel good, some are painful; but they are all just feelings.

On the spiritual journey, we will encounter all kinds of feeling, challenges or experiences; but, if there is someone who we develop a trusting relationship with, we can begin to discharge those unhealed hurts and pains and face what comes up. We could have dealt with the negative experiences when they happened if we had someone to listen to us when the event took place.

We will also have lots of positive experiences on the journey. We do not try to bury the feelings of joy, peace, serenity. We take them in, we feel them and we learn from them.
That is what a spiritual guide or director can help us do with the challenging feelings of fear, anger, resentment or pain. They can help us look at them, face them, feel them and let them go.

But this can only take place if there is a safe environment for this to happen.

Both the director and the directee, the traveler and the guide are responsible for creating a safe space. The process involves mutuality, listening to what will be safe for both people.
 
Last night I dreamed that I was sleeping. And in this sleep, I dreamed that I was in a safe place.

jsgalluzzo

A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for whom we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soul mate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life.

Richard Bach

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.

Maya Angelou

Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.